LONDON — There are some ideas only ‘experts’ understand – like why it makes sense to give trillions of taxpayer dollars to the numerically challenged numbskulls who have virtually bankrupted the global economy. But, not wanting to be left out, U.K. media regulator Ofcom has hit on a similarly counterintuitive idea. Briefed to save public service broadcasting, it has told leading ad-funded network ITV that it will be allowed to drop some of its more onerous responsibilities, creating what is being dubbed as a PSB-lite broadcasting model. More bizarrely, it has said that one way to save quasi-public broadcaster Channel 4 from financial ruin would be for it to merge with RTL-owned commercial network Five.

Now I’ve nothing against RTL – which runs well-organized networks across Europe. But hitching C4 to Five makes about as much sense as marrying Madonna off to the Pope. C4’s remit is to provide an ‘alternative’ PSB voice, while Five’s is to keep its shareholders happy. The only time Five goes near PSB programming is when sees a money-spinning gap in the market.

Sure, RTL would agree to ring-fence C4’s news and current affairs in the short term, because it wants to see the back of a big terrestrial rival. But three, five, 10 years out, it would tell Ofcom that competition from BSkyB, British Telecom and U.S. nets means the expanded network is being shackled by its PSB obligations. How do we know this? Because that is exactly how ITV managed to wriggle out of its kids and regional responsibilities.

Channel 4 CEO Andy Duncan understands this, which is why he argues that his network should be allowed to partner or merge with the BBC’s commercial arm BBC Worldwide (a second option on Ofcom’s agenda).

In truth, this is probably the only way that C4 can survive as a meaningful public service, since it is heading for a budget shortfall of £235 million ($403 million) by 2012 if it goes it alone. But if C4 becomes financially dependent on the BBC, then it means the U.K. is only paying lip service to the notion of PSB plurality. Such a linkup might position Duncan nicely as a future director general – but how long before we decide C4’s job can be done by the BBC’s own digital channel portfolio?

All of this makes C4 look like a lame-duck network. So would we miss it? Well, there’s a strong lobby that believes C4 lost any real sense of its PSB role when it shifted towards Big Brother and U.S. imports. But it would undoubtedly be a big blow to U.K. indie producers – many of whom got their first break with a C4 commission. It would also be a setback for coproducers and distributors, which would have fewer U.K. partners to deal with.

The fate of C4 is a big story – which is why it has taken up so much of this first column. But as the TV industry gropes its way uncertainly into 2009, what else should we take note of?

Well, Endemol’s acquisition of Australian producer/distributor Southern Star is interesting. Combine it with RTL-owned Fremantle’s vast presence in Oz and you have a country which has virtually outsourced ownership of primetime TV production. Sounds like what has already happened in Canada.

Finally, all of us are looking for clues as to how the international distribution market is shaping up in 2009. Usually garrulous about their shows, most distributors have gone quiet. But one company which can’t stay silent is publicly listed telenovela supplier Dori Media Group. Speaking to investors, DMG said it experienced a slowdown in sales in Q4 of 2008 – citing this as evidence of increased caution by program buyers. Expect similar negative news to trickle out during this post-NATPE period.