Ricketts rooter: Here I am again wielding my giant, white plastic hose, cleaning your flooded basements, and wading ankle-deep through your backed-up sewage. But you Jack-Smacks know, I love this job like I love an empty bottle.

Marketing Awards: Sorry I missed you at the Marketing Awards, but I was afraid I might get bored. Besides, I was busy proofreading insurance company newsletters and stapling them. Anyone know the deductible on a busted liver?

Scrap cutters: Rumor has it there’s not nearly enough work around to keep Toronto’s commercial editors busy. It seems likely the next big edit may be to their own ranks. Guess it’s time to go back to cutting weddings and bar mitzvahs, eh kids? Here’s how we can break it up: A-list editors, while still picking up what few commercial jobs there are, will get any wedding willing to do more than one take on the vows. B-list editors, shafted as usual, can take on the scraps – circumcisions, first communions and silver anniversary parties – anything with a cheap buffet.

Culled meat: Looks like Radke, concerned with foot and mouth disease, or putting its foot in its mouth, has performed its own cull – burning the name M.E.A.T. like so much sick livestock. Continuing on its British theme, the Radke storytelling wing is now called STEAM, the preferred method of cooking meat on the bonny isle. Expect the new veggie company to go vegan by 2002, when it may be renamed Soy Pictures with an unsalted spin-off ’boutique,’ Rice Cake Films.

Molson 2: Judgement Day: Seems even the commercial world is obsessed with the dreaded sequel. Word has it Molson’s plan to release a ‘sequel’ to ‘The Rant’ was met with some resistance by the top-level directors who saw the board. Who wants to follow up a spot that already got it right? According to rumor, even the spot’s original director, Kevin Donovan, gave the cold beer the cold shoulder. Maybe Molson should try some freshness dating on its commercials, too. It was best before, now give us a break.

Ladies’ man: A big Ricketts’ Rocket to Don McLean for his win at the WIFT-T Crystal Awards. Women in Film and Television Toronto has named the Partners’ chief Friend of WIFT-T for its 14th annual award show. He will receive the honor on April 23 at the CBC Broadcast Centre. The Friend of WIFT-T award is given to the ‘one man who has helped further the careers of women in the industry.’ If, indeed, McLean is only one man he deserves all our respect for his efforts in this arena. Word has it McLean, not believing he can win as a man, plans to attend the show in a luxurious wig. Excited, McLean was heard to ask: ‘Friend to women? Which ones?’

Paying tribute: Judging by the creative tribute this issue, there sure must be a lot of talent in this biz. I just want to tell everyone how much I love these creative teams. They’re just the best guys. So much fun to work with, and anytime they want me to get involved in anything they ever do – I’ll drop everything. These are mega-geniuses! I never thought I’d say it, but I’d trade a case of whisky for one of them to just leave me a phone message. Did I say they were great to work with? *

Don’t forget to send me your dirty laundry.

rricketts@brunico.com