Lest any tell themselves television is high art, try natpe.

As per Howard Stern, what people want to see on television are ‘big explosions’ and ‘men and women fooling around.’

‘You know what makes good television? Anything that makes a guy pull down his pants and grab himself,’ he told a standing-room-only audience in a session that was arguably the most packed of the three-day event in New Orleans. ‘People want dick jokes with production values.’

The National Association of Television Program Executives, the world’s largest tv conference and exhibition, pulled almost 18,000 tv types and 600-plus exhibiting companies to the Crescent City at the end of January. The setting included stars and schlock too profuse to detail, all intent on hawking the various television wares of the 1999/2000 season.

Primary amongst those recording a successful market is Alliance Atlantis Communications, which walked away from natpe with more than 70% of the u.s. market picking up Peter Benchley’s Amazon, including the top three markets, New York, Los Angeles and Chicago. Chris Craft stations in New York, l.a. and San Francisco, and the upn affiliate in Chicago are among those signing on for the 22-episode series about the adventures of a group of plane crash survivors trying to get out of the South American rain forest.

BetaFilm, the distribution arm of the Germany-based KirchGroup and the official coproducer, has distribution rights in continental Europe while Eyemark Entertainment is handling the u.s. aac owns Canada and the remaining foreign territories. wic will be Amazon’s Canadian broadcaster.

Beastmaster

aac’s Beastmaster: The Legend Continues, which had cleared in more than 60% of the u.s. going into natpe, clocked out at 73%, with Atlanta, New Orleans, Detroit and Orlando stations among those coming on board. To date, the show will air in 28 of the top 30 markets in the u.s.

Beastmaster, coproduced with Endemol Entertainment, is part of the three-year multiseries deal signed between aac and Endemol last year. Endemol is handling rights for Europe, Africa and the Middle East. aac is taking the rest of the world, excluding the u.s., which is handled by Tribune Entertainment.

The mythical show follows Sharak, Ruh, Seth and Kodo and Podo as they help Beastmaster Dar ‘fight oppression and evil on his quest to bring peace and harmony to both mankind and animals.’

The first 22 hours premier this fall. No Canadian broadcaster is attached as yet.

Total Recall: 2070, an aac production in association with Showtime and PolyGram, reports a 75% clearance of the u.s. market, with new additions coming from stations in l.a., Chicago, San Diego, Portland, Seattle and Minneapolis. PolyGram is syndicating in the u.s.; aac has worldwide rights outside.

Although it’s already premiered in Canada, Total Recall won’t go into syndication until January 2000 because Showtime bought an exclusive 10-month window and is premiering the show in March. The 22-episode sci-fi series stars Michael Easton (Two, Ally McBeal), who made the natpe photo blitz for aac.

In other aac news, The Crow: Stairway to Heaven, coproduced by aac and PolyGram, has also sold into 75% of the market for its second season. Gene Roddenberry’s Earth: Final Conflict has been renewed for two years in 80% of the u.s., guaranteeing another two seasons of the series. Earth was newly picked up by the Tribune Broadcasting Group, which represents stations in New York, Chicago, l.a. and Atlanta. It airs on ctv in Canada.

In Montreal, Telescene Film Group and The Fremantle Corporation reached a distribution agreement on Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s The Lost World, the first tv project under Telescene’s Action Adventure Network.

Fremantle signed on for North American distribution rights, thus greenlighting the production of 20 one hours. Subsequently, Tribune-owned channels and wb’s WeB cable station picked up the series.

The Lost World is being produced by Telescene and Village Roadshow Pictures in association with St. Clare Entertainment. John Landis, Jeffrey Hayes, Leslie Belzberg, Greg Coote, Robin Spry, Paul Painter and Bruce Moccia are all executive producers.

With the average cost of an action-adventure hour pushing over the $1-million mark, syndicators are looking for as many windows as possible. The Lost World, for example, launched as a two-hour mow offered on a pay-per-view basis on DirecTv in the u.s. Feb. 1.

Telescene, which had a stand at natpe for the first time, announced the aan venture last year. The deal between Telescene, Richmel Productions and Goodman/Rosen Productions sets up the means for the development and production of mows and tv series for the international market.

Among the 100 hours of original product introduced at natpe were The Lost World, Blackheart, Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde and Gulliver: The New Voyages as well as returning series Big Wolf on Campus and Misguided Angels.

Funbag’s Better or Worse

Outside the larger syndication deals, other Canadian natpe news includes word that Ottawa-based Funbag Animation has optioned the comic strip For Better or For Worse for a family primetime series slated for a fall 2000 delivery.

Creator/artist Lynn Johnson is on board as a writer as is Leila Basin, whose most recent undertaking is Emily of New Moon. The Barenaked Ladies are reportedly interested in doing the music. Fox Family Channel and Disney are among those expressing interest in a u.s. broadcast.

Cambium Entertainment has signed a deal with California-based Spumco Productions to coproduce Hettog The Atomic Pig. John Kricfalusi, the Canadian creator and executive producer of Hettog, is also the creator of the Ren and Stimpy Show. The delivery of 13 half-hours is scheduled for September 2000, with a working budget in the range of us$350,000 to us$450,000. No broadcaster is yet attached on either side of the border.

Monster goes to 26

Cambium brought the first three minutes of completed footage of Monster By Mistake to natpe, leaving Disney International on board for distribution in the u.k., Spain, Italy, Germany, France and Australia. In Canada, the series will air on ytv in September. Based on the animation work to date, ytv just greenlit a second season, bringing Monster up to 26 episodes.

In Vancouver, ctv picked up Studio b’s D’Myna Leagues, a half-hour animated series about baseball-playing buzzards produced with Aston Entertainment in the u.s.

Canamedia Productions reports interest from at least two partners for its new animated series Zeroman starring Leslie Nielsen. The 13 half-hours of 2D animation are scheduled to start production in June by Amberwood Production for delivery to Teletoon in spring 2000.

Nielsen will be the voice of Zeroman, an intellectually challenged super hero. His sidekick is Boy Minus who has been frozen in a glacier since 1964.

Disney Channel picked up 27 new episodes of Nelvana’s Rolie Polie Olie.

Finally, PriceWaterhouseCoopers has at last found a home for Paragon International’s television library. Octapixx Worldwide, a division of BidMax Corporation, will handle all sales of product that includes mows Kissinger & Nixon, Frequent Flyer and Held Hostage, animation properties like Aliens’ First Christmas, and series including Beyond Reality.

ChumCity sells Argentina

In broadcasting news, ChumCity International has sold MuchMusic Argentina to Cisneros Television Group for an undisclosed amount.

Launched in Buenos Aires in 1992, MuchMusic Argentina is first in the ratings among the half-dozen music stations in Argentina. Although ChumCity’s Stephen Tapp won’t put a number on the sale, he says chum made a profit on the venture, but adds that the sale is less important than the partnership agreement struck with Cisneros at the same time.

Going forward, Cisneros will market the ChumCity signature format in all other Spanish and Portuguese-speaking countries, including Portugal and Brazil.

Cisneros is a multifaceted company which owns Locomotion, a 24-hour animation channel, with Hearst Corporation, two Playboy-branded channels, more than 12 other services including film, documentary and comedy channels in Latin America, and owns one of the country’s largest film libraries.

Cisneros will act as the financing and operating partner, marketing the MuchMusic franchise and providing chum with a guaranteed cash flow. According to Tapp, chum has first option of an minority equity position in new or acquired ventures that feature the mm brand.

Elsewhere on the planet, chum’s Oslo, Norway project will launch in September and Helsinki has signed a four-year renewal agreement for its Jurki franchise.

Closer to home, word is that natpe saw a major licensing agreement for Speaker’s Corner in the u.s. The format, units and production expertise are expected to travel in what will be a market-by-market launch in at least 10 cities. An announcement is anticipated within the month on what will be chum’s first major initiative into the u.s.

Finally, just in case you were wondering, the international syndicator of Baywatch used natpe to announce plans to open Baywatch-themed restaurants internationally with real estate developer World Entertainment. The first is scheduled for South Beach this year. Also, Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy have been renewed through to the 2004/5 season. You heard it here first.