‘We cannot guarantee your safety,’ warned Red Green-er and Trader Patrick McKenna as an opener for night two of the 11th Annual Gemini Awards. And no wonder he feared for his well-being, as the set was spinning like Wheel of Fortune for most of the evening.

And so goeth the Gemini orgy for 1997, or ‘Gemini bootcamp’ as it was called by a tired soul whose presence was required on all three evenings plus the Thursday night reception.

Aside from a change of venue for Friday and Saturday nights (from the Metro Convention Centre to the beautifully carpeted mazes of the Royal York), there was deja vu around the winners list as the cbc hauled off over half of the awards overall in a big public broadcasting sack, taking home pretty much everything from the Opening Night Gala (an evening dominated by news, docs, variety and sports) except for ctv’s special technology award. The Due South team closed out Broadcast Night yet again with what those in the world of professional sportscasting might call a three-peat.

In total, Atlantis made seven trips to the stage, as did Rhombus, which picked up five awards alone for September Songs: The Music of Kurt Weill. Alliance and Sullivan each had six, and Salter Street and Associated Producers tied with three each.

But aside from the podium, the most happening place to be on nights one and two was, of course, the hallway, where liquid refreshment and vaporous treats held court. (Despite the official beginning of Toronto’s stringent public anti-smoking bylaw on Saturday, March 1, people were lighting up at alarming rates in alarming places.) Those who did remain in the auditorium apparently had consequential business to discuss, drowning out what jokes the acoustics didn’t swallow and prompting the hosts to, in not-so-subtle ways at times, beseech the moguls to keep it down out there.

McKenna’s performance on night two had some clever bits (about Shakespeare and how buff Graham Greene had become).

Albert Schultz managed, on night three, to get some laughs even from the misanthropic press room when he opened with the gambit ‘Well, Baton has taken control of ctv and we all know what that means. Right? Anyone? Anyone at all?’

While the home viewers may have heard whooshing sounds above their heads at times, the writing was particularly timely for the insider crowd. A fake cbc promo for Depressing Town (‘from the makers of Black Harbour, a tale so morose’) was capped with ‘Thursday and Sunday afternoons on Newsworld.’ In reference to Paul Gross’ Due South reincarnation as writer/producer/actor, Schultz remarked, ‘That’s all this country needs, another Ken Finkleman.’

The Three Anchors was a particulary inspired bit, featuring Peter Mansbridge, Lloyd Robertson and Knowlton Nash doing opera as news stories. But some of the wittiest expositions from the non-broadcast shows came from the winners themselves. As he accepted his two-faced statue for best original dramatic series music score, Christopher Dedrick told how, upon his return to Canada after working on u.s. projects like 9 1/2 Weeks, his first gig was an Alberta government film with a $600 budget called Know Your Tractor.

But there were some serious moments amid Tickle Me Elwy, footage of strollers in the ytv parking lot and the ‘completely posable Gemini action figures.’ John Drainie Award-winner Joe Schlesinger spoke graciously of the cbc following a standing ovation. ‘Frank magazine may say it’s a corpse, but it isn’t. My God, I should have that much energy,’ he said, adding, ‘but we’ve found out that it’s important who counts the beans.’

With no Ernie Coombs in the mix this year, the Most Omnipresent Award goes to the cast of Salter Street’s This Hour Has 22 Minutes, which picked up a bevy of awards on two different nights and inspired a print vs. broadcast holy war in the press room/open bar.

No Gemini weekend would be complete without a flock of pre- and post-awards parties (officially known as receptions), and the winner this year seemed to be Atlantis, which packed ’em in like sardines both before and after the Industry Gala festivities. Forefront’s soiree, featuring chocolate cigars and salmon, was also well attended.

The Canada Television and Cable Production Fund hosted an event at the beautiful Rosewater Supper Club prior to the beginning of night three, and the decor was overshadowed only by the sheer number of bare midriffs in attendance.

But after dinner it seemed most people stuck around to cut a rug following the broadcast event. The wasp factor of the crowd was clearly evident when the cover band broke out the James Brown. Drink ticket business was brisk, with the biggest tips no doubt coming from the pockets of those hanging on to some gold-plated hardware.

For a complete list of winners, see page 15.