Chaos and counting

The number of ctf applications is on the record at 600, thus ending two weeks of ‘no comment.’ In case you’re curious, the rationale preempting disclosure via the ctf was that if the numbers are perceived as too high, then the image of the Fund In Chaos continues; if the numbers are perceived as too low, then new guidelines too complex for any mere mortal to understand will be labeled the cause.

Please. Bless broadcaster renegades who want one last stand before the tv policy rears its ugly head.

We’re presuming that follow-up questions to the 600 number like how many applications are there for drama, documentary, children’s programming, feature film, etc., will be an exercise in futility. How about a list of productions and the points attributed to them, so that producers could know, for example, if an mow with more points bumps a drama series? The line from the fund is that an official breakdown won’t be available until after March 15, so while the ctf fiddles with numbers, producers burn. A June shoot? Sorry. No idea what the odds are you’ll receive funding.

This isn’t a competition for producing the best program for the best time slot anymore. It’s Battle of the Beancounters, a math quiz, an exercise in interpretation and/or loopholes. It’s about writing scripts hard and fast so that you have a bible in the funding application, about staring into the crystal ball to decide a schedule eight months down the road, about balancing increased licence fees and ‘at risk’ dollars, and then throwing a volume of paper at the ctf wall and hoping one or two pages stick. For those less tech-ready producers who weren’t privy to constant online updates to eligibility criteria that came as late as February, it’s about office equipment. Now it’s about waiting.

A couple of years ago, at one of those mind-numbing public panels on the future of broadcasting, Discovery Channel president Trina McQueen woke the audience by saying she was tired of talking about everything but software. We’re paraphrasing, but the gist was ‘It’s the programming, stupid.’

The new fund mechanisms, built with the intention of pleasing everybody all the time and circumventing bad press, is only peripherally about programming. It makes about as much sense as the crtc’s cross-country checkup on the cbc in the run-up to its licence renewal.

A February memo from the cftpa to its members asks them to weigh in with the commission and consider questions like ‘Has the withdrawal of the cbc had an impact on your business?’ Meanwhile, week four of the technicians strike is here and a strike by producers and reporters looms. The cbc isn’t quietly drifting away anymore. It’s going out with a whimper and a bang with Andy Barrie bumbling through a glitch-heavy piece on Hip Hop.

As the cbc inches towards what could be a point of no return, cbc president Perrin Beatty is massaging a legacy around (and spending cbc resources on) the Internet. The stunning lack of leadership is showcased on a daily basis. Labor relations are broke. Programming is broke. Direction? The Net. Surely thousands wait with baited breath to leap from bed to hear Ian Brown’s hypnotic sounds eking from computer speakers on Sunday Morning. While we’re at it; how many cbc watchers and listeners actually have Internet access and how many still listen on radio receivers they inherited from their grandparents?

By all means, prepare for the future. But the present is a mess. McQueen may look the heir apparent for Bruce Cowie’s job at ctv, but the cbc needs her more.

Finally, speaking of ctv, 32% is 32%? It’s Disney. Psychological inhibitors. Moral suasion. We’re happy to have one hard number made available this issue, but we’re not buying it.